Animatic 03 Feedback

This is the animatic which we presented in week 07 and which Mike gave us further feedback on on Tuesday of week 08. We’ve discussed the changes that we want to make but major updates to the animatic have been delayed to week 09 as we’ve been focusing on animation tests, further production design, character sculpts, rigging and research. Sorcha managed to cut 2 minutes off of this version at the beginning of the week which is a great start. We’re hoping to condense it further.

I’ve wrote Mike’s feedback in my sketchbook but these are the general points. Alec also made some similar points the week before and suggested some better scenarios for when Nami falls into the monster mouth.

  • The ‘keep your eyes peeled’ potato joke was lost. There should be a cut in to Tato’s reaction and audible grumbling. Nami should perform towards Tato when she apologises.
  • Make sure that the performance is loud and clear.
  • Nami needs motivation to cause her to stop. The rustling sound effect is missing  in this version which would cause Nami to stop but maybe Tato points towards the rustling bush. Always pay attention to cause and effect.
  • Consider how time passes. Nami comes across the creature very quickly and without apparent trial.
  • What is the creature doing in the bush – it could be eating berries.
  • The second close-up of the creature isn’t necessary when Nami is about to jump. Is this not a good editing pattern, getting faster and closer?
  • Pay attention to continuity of the space relationship between character staging.
  • We should see Nami’s spell start in a wide shot before it cuts closer to the Edgar Wright style cuts. Also indicate Nami’s spell forming, otherwise it pops into existance.
  • Frame Nami in an angled view looking towards the creature and beware of making her eyeline suggest that she’s looking elsewhere.
  • Nami’s pose looks like she’s straining to look around the creature.
  • We plan to see Púca’s first shapeshift. After this, when Púca is pacing he should’t pace away from the camera. Also, if Púca isn’t walking, then we can focus on his performance instead. Choose your battles.
  • It doesn’t come across that the creature is an accidental decoy. Nami and Púca should have more of a “…and who’s this guy” moment.
  • Move the camera with the character if they move out of frame and into the next shot (instead of cutting).
  • Use a two shot of Nami and Púca reacting to a third character instead of focusing on one at a time.
  • The wide shot of Tato should show him starting to listen. Cutting into his ear is confusing.
  • Is there a rule that Nami will also get smaller if she’s on Púca’s back when he shapeshifts?
  • We depicted Nami travelling on Púca’s back as we thought that the shots could be appealing but Mike’s feedback is that it would make more sense if Nami travels on her staff which is quicker.
  • Time could pass off screen between when Nami and Púca enter and exit the forest to Reymond’s crossroads.
  • Set up Reymond’s position in relation to Nami and Púca.
  • Will Reymond have afro hair, nice foliage etc? Reymond’s butt cheeks could wiggle when he laughs.
  • Nami should also be framed in Púca’s reaction shots to Reymond.
  • Take out the warning and Nami’s response. (We’re not sure if we want to do this as Reymond is our messenger, and it’s funny.) Speed up the dialogue at the end or cut it.
  • The screen direction changes when Tato arrives at the house. Maybe keep this right to left screen direction for Púca and Nami when they arrive at the house also to signal moving into danger.
  • Add a better establishing shot of the house.
  • Nami and Púca should cross the bridge when the camera does.
  • Mike suggests that Nami should run across the bridge first as she’s already shown that she’s impulsive at Reymond’s crossroads. However, this was something that we changed from the first animatic as we thought that it contributed to Nami coming across as stupid. We could make Nami run across first but try to pay attention to her performance so that she doesn’t seem completely brainless.
  • We’re missing a shot of when they open the door, either quickly or slow and tense.
  • When the camera pulls out it should reveal something e.g. Tato’s staging in relation to Nami and Púca when they enter the door.
  • Nami should start to leave the frame before we cut to Tato.
  • Púca needs to act more in the background instead of staring.
  • Nami needs to pull out her staff and be at the ready when the possession is happening and not after.
  • We’re reworking how Púca reacts to Nami falling. It’s agreed that Púca should immediately try to save Nami. Mike suggests that Nami could purposefully fall after Tato and then summon her magic in the moment of extreme peril. Maybe Tato is the demolition expert and has grenades. Magic shouldn’t be too convenient.
  • The magic should reflect Nami’s earlier attempt at magic.
  • Nami doesn’t need to announce her intention to capture the monster if she’s about to do it.
  • The end needs a lot of condensing. Mike pointed out that there are multiple points where it could just end.
  • For the ending dialogue the trio should already be walking into the distance. The smouldering house could be included in the last shot.

Animatic 03 shortened version 

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